The Amateur Writer

Over the course of one week, a big change will envelope my family. For me, it's finally my time to leave the bird's nest, as they say, and fly on my own. For my family, they are going to accept the fact that the clan is now down to five. But it's going to be major for my parents this year because they have to see two children leave the nest this year. I really do think I can make it this time (since that UIA episode is never going to happen ever again!) and I think I'm ready now. The picture above carries a meaning of how my parents had been there for me all this while (thus explaining the nicely tied laces) but as you can see on the left shoe, the lace is untied. This carries the meaning of how it is up to me now to tie it thus, taking the responsibility of my life and actions from now on. I've grown up. It's my time.

And so, I will now start a new chapter in my life.

Bismillahirahmanirahim.

I found this bracelet when I was packing my accessories and it reminded me of Ayesha. Back in college, she used to susun the beads into their original line because she's anal that way. LOL

It's been awhile since I've talked to her and I terribly miss her. I mean she's the only person who accepted me with all of my weirdness that many Sunway ppl just dont understand. What funny was that she gets me. Like she knows every single of facial expression that I make. Like, she knows my kind but i-hate-u face. I need Ayesha! I need her to read my facial expressions, listen to my mom jokes and susun these beads into line.



Currently listening to: SHINee :)

There's 3 things I'm sure that will not be at my wedding. Call me untraditional but that's what I'm aiming for anyway.

1) No flower girls but instead, bridesmaids.
2) Tacky wedding music. Like those "selamat...pengantin baaaaaaaaruuuuuu...!"
3) Kompang

Instead of kompang, I've decided a new and fun way I'm going to enter the wedding hall.

If you've been hanging out with me, you should know what I'm talking about months ago.

PS: I don't care if my parents faint out of embarrassment or my grandmother (bless her soul) cry and disown me as her granddaughter. It's my day after all. :p





I've already decided the people who are going to do this with me, aside from the groom la.

a) My sisters and brother. (Already told Adam that if the time I got married he has a gf, then the gf will be his partner, if not dance with Aya. Immediately he agreed.)
b) Sara, Shaza and Shira. Possibly with their bfs if not with the groom's guy friends.
c) My cousins, Natasha and Ryan
d) The groom's best friends and his siblings.

I should really stop talking about weddings, that's totally sending out the wrong message about me. Can't help it though when your mum starts giving opinions on what I should have my wedding like. God, everything changes when you turn 20. *smiles* And I'm not even twenty...yet.

Got no work what do u do? CAMWHORE lah!

Since I'm such a noob when it comes to taking care of my hair, the actual hairstyle that my hairdresser did for me is long lost so this what happened!

Abah calls it the New Zealand hair and I call it, my G-dragon hair~! Coz I brought his picture and I showed it to the hairdresser so it was modeled after his hair. Sadly due to my curly texture, we had to alter a bit the hairstyle so it suits me.

**Picture not mine, it's Kosmo's** :)

If you've read Kosmo today. you must've come across this picture. I just can't believe the NERVE of some people! I mean, I was rendered speechless by the sheer stupidity of this one pathetic excuse of a daughter to treat her poor mother like that!

So if you haven't read the papers today, this is the lowdown:

This one mother who lives alone in a kampung in Sarawak borrowed money from people around her just so she could see her daughter of which she hasn't seen for three years. She bought the ticket and flew to KL in hopes to find her daughter. Her only clue...Serdang. Her daughter herself told her that she and her husband live in Serdang.

Seriously, does this "animal" expect her old mother to find where she lives in FRIGGIN SERDANG?! I know you're so pissed at her for some odd reason that you want to marry some factory worker and it maybe in the past, if she wanted reconciliation; just forgive her la. Because at the end of the day, she's your mum.

What I've read in the article was that three years ago, this old woman actually went down to Serdang again to find her daughter but to no avail. It was now that she got the help of the police force in Serdang(?) [have to check on that one] that she finally finds out where her daughter lives. After this hard work, you at least expect some sort of emotional reunion or something but noooooooooo, far from that. This "animal" and her bitch of a husband denied from ever knowing her despite the old woman's pleas. She even showed them her daughter's birth certificate and this couple accused her of many things. That really pisses me off.

Then she got screamed and "caci-ed" at and with nowhere to go, she ended sleeping at the police station. Poor poor lady. My heart really goes out to her. To make matters worse, she lives alone back in her kampung and I'm pretty sure with no financial support.

What makes me mad more than dumping babies and discrimination is children who who don't appreciate their parents.

I'm not a perfect child myself and I do get you, parents can sometimes be a pain. Especially if you're married and you're torn between your wife and your mother. I know, sucks to be you if you're a man but you need to have a clear head. I'm not saying I'm like the best person ever to give this advice but running away from the problem is not the way to settle it. Sure, having to take care of your old parents put a cramp in your lifestyle or whatever but you have to think this, as stressful your life gets nothing beats the pain of childbirth. (You think so easy is it for your mother to give birth to you?!) Think it this way, have you ever thought that you put a cramp in your parents' life back in the day. Truth hurts but you sure do! There are times when your mother wants to go out and have a fun day with her gfs but she ended taking care of you, with your diapers and snot. At the end, she did it and why can't you?

I seriously hate children who changed after they get married. Like attitude-wise and they ended up treating their parents like shit. It goes to show that adults are stupid also (am I an adult? =_=) so listen well children...we're better!

So if you still have you're parents, give them a hug, If you don't, pray for them.

PS: if you feel like you're treating your mum like shit, remember this...susah oo nk mati nanti. balasan kat akhirat lagi takut! Sesungguhnya syurga itu dibawah tapak kaki ibu... :)

PSS: You know what I'm passionate about right now? The Allah Issue. But I shall keep my opinions away from this blog to avoid any sort of conflicts unless you want to know my opinion la. So email me! I will try to keep from writing any political shit coz that's just dirty.

I shit you not. This is actually a TV series in the Philippines. They make their own version of Twilight. I'm guessing Takipsilim is Twilight in Tagalog.

And that guy is supposed to be Edward Cullen. =_=

WTF indeed.

I'm stuck. I'm at the last chapter of Mission Idol and I don't know how to end the story. I am seriously behind my update goal at Fictionpress.com and I don't want to lose any readers. The first week after I post up the second last chapter, I was relatively in a positive mindset. How hard could it be? The endings are usually the easiest ones. Boy was I wrong!

It's been almost three weeks now and I'm still at point zero. Okay, I DID write something but I scrapped it because well, it doesn't have a good feel to it you know? Right now, I'm seriously doubting on getting MI published because I'm not confident with it. Well I AM but you know, it's not perfect. And it's awfully cliche in my opinion and I think I'm worth so much more. But the main thing right now is to get my name out. And I need to publish it. It's sooo hard because the scope for this kind of genre in Malaysia is very limited and so far, I've got rejected by two publishers. One said my work is juvenile (what do you expect it's a teen novel!) and one wanted me to write in Malay.

Ahhh fuck.

But I HAVE TO DO IT! Just like my boy Nickhun said, "Don't think too much. Just do it!"


SO yesterday I went to do errands with my mum. I woke up around 9AM, got kicked out of bed (exaggeration right here :p) and been driving the whole day. The only time I get to sit on my bum was around 9PM...? Yeah, around that time. Ughhh....I'm so tired. In a way I can't wait to get out of the house and just live my life but at the same time, I just want to savour the time I have left with my family.

And besides, I'm deathly scared of what's going to come in the next three weeks. I'm finally going to be on my two feet, away from home, away from any sort of safe net that my parents have set up for me and finally, away from my comfort zone.

Okay, I'm getting a bit way off the topic so what happen was I went to Tesco with my mum to pay the bills and la di da we got a bit strayed and ended up buying this CUTE japanese cotton that I just sent to the tailor's today to have her make a baju kurung for me.

I have this one scarf that I've been eyeing the whole time but didn't actually do anything to buy it so...not really regretting it tho. I mean, I'm not even the best hijab-wearing person out there although I like to be one so why would I need more scarves ait?

Getting back to the main point of the story, I went to the toilet before we were going to leave and pick up Adam when I saw my mom got a bit caught up with this custom jewelery store. Went up to her and sat on my bum watching her try gazillions of rings and bracelets and what a girl to do but try some for herself la. Which I did at the end and I ended up with a ring that now I think looks like an engagement/wedding ring. See below:



It's not even real gold peeps but when the first time I put it on my finger, it looked really really nice. As in so nice that people around me just stopped to say that it looked nice on me. And my mum actually bought it for me. I wont tell the price here lah but I could've bought 4 of the scarves that I wanted with that amount of money.

Cheap la.

A LOT cheaper than the ring I bought in an antique shop in Melacca. Ahhh my vintage turquoise ring that burned my RM70...how in my right mind that I lost you?! I know it's in my room but at the current state of it, it's practically impossible for me to find it right now. (;__;)

Btw, now the ring looked so much like a wedding ring that I'm embarrassed to even wear in public. I actually saw a lady who looked at my face and back to my ring finger incredulously in section two. She must've thought I got knocked up or something to actually get married at such a young age. Then again, I prolly look old enough to get married so the only reason she gave me that look was why a young person like me could land an amazing ring on my finger in the first place when she only has that miserable looking ring on hers. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!

PS: FINISHED READING CATCHING FIRE AT 4PM TODAY!! I CANT WAIT FOR BOOK THREE! TEAM PEETA ALL THE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY~! My favourite character right now is Haymitch and Cinna. Lovely Cinna. *melts into a puddle of goo*