The Amateur Writer

To watch Avenue Q was one of the things I wanted to do before I turned 30 so that's one thing crossed off the list! I've been singing to the show's tunes ever since I got interested with cosplay (not that I cosplayed but I was really into it at one point) because people tend to sing Avenue Q songs at conventions.

The showing that I went to was on the last days of Ramadhan (man, I'm bad!) but it was on the first night of Spring break so me and Nings sort of planned a special iftar to celebrate both! Okay, it was more on my part because I was really really really excited! This is after all my first time going to a real musical and people really raved about the show. I was hoping to learn a few things from it...

In my opinion, Dunedin's Avenue Q was a disappointment for me. Maybe because I had a high expectation from the rave reviews it got from my Theatre lecturers and Critic. I find that the cast failed to really bring the puppets alive (because Avenue Q is all about its puppets) and I felt the ventriloquies did more acting than the puppets themselves. I realized that they are not professional puppeteers but the director could have asked them to attend puppet seminars just like the Broadway cast. Also I notice some of the jokes are very american so it wasnt as funny for the Kiwi audience. The energy from the cast was lacking big time.

I know for a fact that Jie Ning didn't enjoy it at all...which was sad! I was really hoping that the show would prove her wrong! :D

Avenue Q by Dunedin Cast = 2/5

Committee after Mahsuri

On a brighter note, Cheers to next year! Hopefully filled with travels and meeting new people!

PS: I AM AN HONORARY MEMBER NOW!! LIFETIME MEMBERSHIP MAN! TALK ABOUT BEING IMMORTALIZED BABY! haha. I'm sorry, it's kind of late here and I.am.delirious.

Thank god that I managed to stock up on food yesterday! :D

To be honest, this is the second time we received snow. I think people are more prepared for it. The first time was about 3 weeks ago and my god, the whole city was a bit crazy. I had a pretty bad time because I wasn't prepared for it at all!! I didn't have food and I was stranded. :(

Now that I'm more prepared, it's time to enjoy the snow! :D

Right, off to study now!!

I think this video shows the Scarfie lifestyle at its best especially during the first few seconds. I'm not much of a Scarfie but heck yeah, I have the Scarfie pride. University of Otago FTW! For those who don't know what a Scarfie is; it is what Otago students call themselves. From what I understand, we are called Scarfies because of the thick scarfs that people back even the day used to wear due to Otago being really cold. And the students back then don't wear just any scarf, it's the Uni of Otago scarf with blue and yellow (these 2 colors are Otago Uni's official colours).

I love how this video shows all the local sights that you will see around campus. Also, I saw Strawberry Sound in the video. That is an audio company that I hired for my Mahsuri production. Awesome people with awesome service!! They just know what I want and I love their laid-back professionalism. God knows how panicky I can get when the show gets nearer and nearer.

PS: Chopsticks 101, a famous Chinese restaurant in Dunedin decided to air my Mahsuri in their restaurant! HAHA! I'm so honoured! XD

I don't consider myself emo because of my sense of awareness. Yeah, that must be it. That's why I hardly write about the struggles that I go through because I am usually capable of picking myself up in a matter of hours. The longest would be like three days. Usually I should be fine by then. Yes.

I'm not sure if you've noticed but the blog seemed less personal lately...especially the time leading up to Mahsuri and after it. Well the thing is, I have been down. The best way to describe how I was feeling is similar to having all the motivation and aspirations sucked out of you, leaving you numb. Suddenly I found myself being timid with the things around me and I felt so helpless. I didn't know what to do with myself. Suddenly I was scared. I was scared to go to class, I was scared to talk to people and all I wanted to do is to get away from anything English-related.

At first I thought I was just having one of those post-production depression (the one where you realize that you don't have to be responsible over people and things anymore) so I gave myself a week to recover. It was difficult because suddenly I realized how difficult my subjects are this semester. Well, they're not super difficult per say but the pressure to perform well is eating away my confidence. I started to doubt myself.

Am I that good at English anyway?

Being an English major, I am definitely taking the road less travelled. Especially being what I am. I have never regretted taking this path because I know, deep down that this is what I wanted to do. But at the same time, I am not stupid enough to disregard what the reality is. The most difficult part of being me at the moment would be...how much do I get to have things my way? So far, I am blessed to have things go according to plan (Alhamdulillah...) but now I feel it's time to take the next step. Where should I go now? I have so many possibilities but I am torn between self-growth and being "realistic".

Realistic.

If I were to ask one of my English professors, they would definitely throw back the question at me. What is realistic? Does realistic means conforming to what society expects you to be? Does it entail security? Does it entail happiness? Do the things that are realistic to me are the same for you?

Self-growth.

Shouldn't I grow as a person in order to understand the realities of the world? Shouldn't I provide myself an edge that will separate me from other people? But does self-growth can be delayed? Is it okay for me to put my self-growth on hold so that I will conform to what society think what I should do first.

What is the rush? I asked.

But money and time are of the essence. Another part of me answered.

I had all these thoughts running in my head for the past month. What made it worst was that I felt so guilty for thinking all of these thoughts. At the end, all I could see was that I am this selfish person.

But am I so selfish for wanting to be the best in what I do? Am I so selfish for going after my goals?

After battling all of these thoughts, alas God has given me the answer in the form of my father. No one can put things into perspective like my father can. He is one amazing person and I pray everyday that Allah will bless him for he is an angel.

**I am fine now! I figured it would be good if I share a different side of me. I'm back to old Yang Safia!Also I don't want to put unnecessary stress on my health now! I have been sick on and off these past few weeks so it also explains why I haven't been "active".

Basically what I wanted to say is that people will always go through a period where they doubt themselves and that is normal. Especially when you're a 20-something like me. You are about to step into the real world after all. I believe that ultimately, it is up to you because it is your life after all. You have the power to shape it. Although this doesn't mean it is wise for you to ignore what others are trying to tell you.

In the words of Mior Azli, "Don't accept an idea completely nor reject it completely."

The Secret Club was founded early this year, when four Malaysian(+ one Bruneian! Whoops! :P) girls decided to make a tradition. Yes, a tradition whereby every Friday evening they will put everything on hold and have coffee together. This is a club where everything is out for discussion and the best part, it stays within the group. We laugh, cry, panic and create dramas wherever we go. Yes, we fight constantly but just like real sisters, we make up at the end. I love this group because we all have different personalities and yet, we compliment each other perfectly.

Adeline: The most KIASU (competitive) person you'll ever meet. An over-achiever by nature but her KIASU-ness can be very funny at times. She'd like to think that she's a cross of Donald Trump and Mother Theresa. And yes, she's very serious about this. =_=

Alia: The most DRAMATIC person you'll ever meet. I'll be honest, it's hard to like Alia at first but when you DO get to know her, it's hard not to love her. Her crazy ideas coupled with good intentions makes Secret Club what it is. AN AWESOME FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN 5 GIRLS!

Jie Ning: She's old. The oldest member in SC. Also by now, you can tell that I LOVE to annoy her. She's a grumpy mommy but when she laughs, my GOD. You just can't help but laugh with her. The most kind-hearted person I know. She who loves passionately and HARD; makes Jie Ning a beautiful soul.

Shaz: The baby of the group. It's safe to say that all the members are very protective of her. But this baby got some edge man because my god, someone wash this girl's brain. The things that come out of her mouth are pure unadulterated AWESOMENESS!

Yang: Because I'm Yang Safia. ;)

We'd like to think we're a sorority but that's just us being lame. Two weeks ago, one of our members decided to spread her wings and do an exchange to America. She'll be gone for six months so it's no biggie right?

But my god, some of the sappy ones just HAD to be all dramatic about Adeline's exchange. Haha.

Then again, that's how we roll.

To the girls, I know it's late but I figured I'd be different and do it a bit late. :D

Each of the girls decided to do a personal page thingy and compile it into a scrapbook for our darling Bock-bock. Some of the pages are super creative I tell you!