The Amateur Writer

Wow! Only four posts in January! I don't know whether to laugh or cry but all I can say is that I am back for good! It had been torture to keep so many plans under wraps and not vent it out on this blog. So I'm finally ready to tell the world EVERYTHING about my plans for the year. Leggo!

Life after graduation is daunting for most fresh graduates and luckily for me, I had the chance to witness this first hand through my friends. Jie Ning and Adeline ventured into this challenging chapter a year ahead of me and I admit I was there when they slaved over their CVs and crying over the what-ifs. They kept telling me how tough it is going to be since everything seemed so...uncertain. And they were right.

For some, after graduation means taking some time off and do some travelling or soul searching. Others jumped right into work. I'd like to think that I belong into the latter group although I do have plans to travel right after graduation. My concern throughout the second half of 2012 was just that; how can I do both?

The panic kicked in sometime in September 2012. As much as I was excited to finally venture into this new chapter, I was obviously worried whether any of my plans will work. This was IT. This was the time to prove to my parents and to myself that my dreams are going to work. I felt the pressure to show to my parents that their daughter who has an Arts degree can make something out of herself in this big bad world. Now don't think that my parents were not supportive of me pursuing this path. This was far from it. But the typical concern of whether my child will be able to find work is on any parents' minds and my parents are not exempted to this kind of thought.

The only advantage that I have (and I do hope the You reading this will learn something from this) compared to my peers is that I know what I wanted to do. And I am not ready to compromise for something of lesser value. Ask me where I see myself in 10 or 20 years and I'd be more than happy to explain it to you. When you have that kind of drive, it translates very well during your job interview. The likelihood of your future employer taking you in is higher and I can bet you on that. But fair warning though, there is a THIN LINE between knowing what you want and being just plain cocky. So try to find that balance. (Why do I feel like this is turning into a job interview guide?)

So my dream is to become a lecturer, teaching English Literature at a local university but at the same time an active member at the local theatre scene. And in between, I would be writing columns for magazines and newspapers. For my community, I would like to instil an appreciation for the English language and change people's perception towards it. As awesome as these plans sound, I had to be realistic. Which one comes first? I knew I have selfish tendencies of wanting to do all at once so I went into crazy planning mode.

In order to become a lecturer, I have to continue my studies so I started applying to various universities (local and overseas) about the same time I was writing my final year essays. I reached out to KLPAC, applying to any available positions. I applied to Teach for Malaysia in hopes that I could give back to my community. I sent in my writings to any magazines and newspapers. For two months, things were so....uncertain. I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't scared but at the time, I was nearing the end of my stay in NZ so I decided to focus my energy on having fun (or slaving away on assignments) instead. This is random but I like what 50 Cent (yes, the rapper!) said, "It's either you worry or pray. Don't do both."

And so I prayed. SO.HARD.

I'm not exactly the best Muslim out there but I relied a lot on Allah during times like this. I knew that all I could do is plan and plan but it is still up to Him. So I prayed for Him to lead me to the path that is best for me.  :)

The Results:

A month into my university applications, I got rejected by Queen Mary University. However I got an offer to write a piece for a magazine and  scored an interview with KLPAC, Teach for Malaysia and Malaysian Business. The minute I arrived in Malaysia, I got into crazy interview mode. I went to my KLPAC interview and came out with no specific job as they weren't looking for people but with an understanding on how to join their community. I personally don't think it as a loss but merely an opportunity that I can tap into later. I went to my Malaysian Business interview and got offered to become a writer there. It happened so fast that I was quite intimidated to be honest. After days of thinking, I decided to decline the position since I figured I should focus on doing my postgraduate studies. And at the time, there was also Teach for Malaysia. I got accepted to attend their final stage of assessment when I found out that I got rejected by University Malaya. I admit, I was so gutted upon receiving the news. I figured of all places in the world, University Malaya will always have a place for me since I do plan to work there. I cried it out for a night and the next day, I worked on my preparations for the last stage at Teach for Malaysia.

During the two weeks of waiting for the results of the assessment, I found out that I got accepted into a Shakespeare Masters Program at Royal Holloway in...London. I freaked out. Like majorly. But then I had to be realistic once again. I can only go if I have a scholarship but unfortunately, there are no such scholarships in Malaysia. At this point, nothing is set in stone just yet but I can say that my heart is with Teach for Malaysia. Again things are uncertain but what could I do but try my best.

Now you might be wondering about my travel plans. Well...Sara, Shaza and I have decided to do a mini Euro trip! Our main location will be London as it is where Shira is and we are going to stay at her place. Then we will do short trips to Paris and Amsterdam. The tentative is still unclear but we should be looking at sometime in June or August. For now, I need to come up with some cash ASAP so I'm working as an English teacher at a language centre. I'm still looking for more part-time jobs though.

So that's pretty much it. My story after graduation. I seriously could not do it without my awesome family and friends. For now, all I could say is...Alhamdulillah. :D