Hello children. It's been awhile since I've given you guys an update on my life. Or more like, what's been on my mind. You see as usual, I've proven to be my father's daughter since I've been busy...with a lot of things. But this post is not about my crazy workload or what I've been doing; it's about how I spent my first raya sans family (Damn. And I thought Raya fever is out of my system!) and how we made things work!
I read my father's blog the other day and he was talking about how skyping with me during raya would be a norm for the next few years. That got me going through all the raya pics that he sent to me and found the two where I posed with my parents (sadly, separately). His entry also got me thinking about what matters in life the most. I may sound like such a jerk for saying this but it hasn't been long since I realized how much my family meant to me. And hoo boy, it took me a LONGER time to admit how awesome my siblings are (of course, they couldn't be all that awesome without me teaching them how awesome is like. ahem.)
As the old saying goes, "You won't know how to appreciate unless they're taken away from you."
Well it wasn't like my family was taken away from me but it was more like I had to grow up. And find my place in the world. Pursue my dreams and all that schazang. And that requires me to get out of the country which is awesome and all but...not having your family with you sucks.
Although to be honest, my Sunway days were quite frustrating because I was still at home and usually people my age are already out of the house. And sometimes I get the feeling that my mom was not all that happy of having me at home. She gets frustrated sometimes but I understand though. She's just worried that I'm missing out. I, myself was frustrated that I was home with my parents and I felt like I couldn't do anything. At one point, I was like "Where's the life?" and I couldn't do what I wanted to do because of my family was there.
To put it bluntly, I felt like my family was pulling me back.
Now before you guys take out the pitchforks and stab me to death, hear me out first.
I needed to get out of the house. Get out of the country even because I have these amazing plans about my life and I couldn't achieve all of them from home. I think my parents understood that. And that is why I'm in New Zealand now.
Obviously there are perks about living alone. You can go out whenever you want. You can eat and do whatever you want without asking for permission. You can go on amazing trips with your friends without trying to come up with an excuse why you MUST go on this trip. You can do...pretty much anything lah!
There are the downside to this. RESPONSIBILITIES. Well for those who have been living alone, you'll know what I'm talking about. Bills. Bank matters. Money. House chores. Mail.
Suddenly there's no more breakfast, lunch, dinner (sahur!! >_<) on the table and you have to get your bum off the bed and drag yourself to the kitchen and cook. And no, Maggi can only last you for a couple of days. And that's when you realize how bad Maggi is for you and you'll realize why your mother prevent you from eating them when you're young and the only time you get to eat them is when your dad buys them because he wants to eat it for himself. You will also realize how fridge doesn't restock itself but requires you to get your butt to New World and do your own groceries (I don't really mind because it makes me feel all grown up hehe).
And suddenly you start thinking about making money la and how to create a great network la...Oh my God, I'm starting to sound like my dad!
I miss the ol' guy. ;(
But the biggest lesson being away from home has taught me was that how important these beings are. My parents. My siblings. And my cat.And my relationship with them improves significantly. I'm thankful that I have this opportunity to realize this. If I'm still in Shah Alam till now, I'm going to turn into an even worse spoiled girl who only thinks about herself and spend money like water. Thank god I'm outta there. :D
I guess for a relationship to improve, distance and space are all you need.
Before I end this post, I remembered what my dad once told me.
"Kakak, you go out and do your thing. Don't worry about us. And don't say you miss us and sedih-sedih. You know we're still going to be here. Just focus on your goals and BE PASSIONATE!"
Therefore, please attend ADB and check out 3K!
Raya made possible beeches! YEAAAAAAAH~!!
PS: That shot of my hair is just a glimpse of this look I've been rocking at home. To get that look. Just don't shower in the morning, wear a loose shirt, pajama pants and socks. And put your hair up in a topknot. You'll be the epitome of a hermit.